Ransom on Bolton Moustache

Reliable sources from within the Afghan Poppy Society report that the second cousin of notorious terroist Jamasana B. Goodein has offered a reward of 10,000 goat skins for the moustache of John Bolton. The only condition is that it must be attached to his upper lip. Excitment in the form of eerie ukallaling has been heard in upscale Afghan neighborhoods.

No Whining Ann

Dearest Ann: Believe it nor not, that is exactly what you look like. Pin head, giant feet. You need a complete makeover. Go to dragqueenmakeoverforrightwingchristiannuts.com.

The Coward and Jane Fonda

The "spitter" probably ran away from the babies he had killed in Vietnam. (That is, if he did serve there. Other blogs are checking this one out. Most of these jerks who claim to have been there are just killer wannabes.) So, if the spitter runs from dead babies no wonder he runs from a babe he just spit on. Ran right into the hands of the adoring media where he received the obligatory hero's welcome. The coward as hero. Fitting American oxymoron.