Syllogisms for the Stupid

1. H. Clinton said the 1968 Democratic presidential nominee was decided after the assassination of Robert Kennedy; H. Clinton wants to be the Democratic nominee; therefore H. Clinton desires the assassination of B. Obama.

2.Chamberlain negotiated an agreement which appeased Hitler's aggression. Therefore all negotiation with the enemy is appeasment.

Negotiation and appeasment:

a. Eisenhower negotiation with North Korea;
b. Kennedy negotiation with U.S.S.R over Cuban missle crisis;
c. Nixon and Kissinger negotiation with North Vietnam and China;
d. Carter negotiation with Panama (assuming the Panamian people are the enemy of the U.S.);
e. Reagan negotiation with U.S.S.R. (assuming that bad faith negotiation is counted);
f. G.H.W. Bush negotiation with Saddam Hussein;
g. Clinton negotiation with Somalia;
h. G.W. Bush negotiation with Fatah at Annapolis (assuming a stupid president/negotiator is counted).

AND THE GREAT STATE OF FLORIDA!!!

And when they call the roll in Denver the Great State of Florida, the home of the Gators, the home of Florida Orange Juice, etc., etc., casts its votes for........uh, well, sorry, Florida, you don't get to vote. By the way Michigan we're not even going to call your name. Pick up your goddamn signs and go home. And another thing, in November don't forget to vote for the next president of the United States (well, at last 48 of them), Senator Barak Obama!!!!

NOW IT'S OVER

NOW IT'S OVER.

OBAMA: THE CONSCIENCE OF THE CONSERVATIVES

How could anyone have known? The racists finally have given up on States' rights; Reagan idolotors are asking forgiveness of the Holy Mothers of the Welfare Cadillac; Cowboy conservatives now weep for Willie Horton; in their heart of hearts the neo-convicts know O.J. was right. What is the source of this neo-conscience? What is the font of this brotherhoodness? It is...Obama, Obammmmaaa, Obaaaamaaa. This can be the only reason Republicans are voting for Obama: They have finally found their conscience, having lost it so many years ago somewhere in the wasteland of the America of Richard Nixon and George Wallace.








It is time we all stood and bowed our collective heads in honor of this...this.....well, you name it.

NYT GETS THERE FIRST

The Right Wing Slime Machine, Limbaugh, Hannity, and their filk, are outraged that the liberal newspaper of record has slimed McCain before they could. Nothing stopped these men of honor from pushing the 2000 story that McCain had fathered a (OMG) black child. O, the gnashing of teeth! Imagine! If they had only done their filth work a couple of months ago. Then they would have had a filth day destroying McCain. And they probably would have been successful.

DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN!!

DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN!
DEMWY DEFEATS TRUTON!
BEMWY DEFEATS CRUTON!
OBEMWY DEFEATS CLUTON!
OBAMWY DEFEATS CLITON!
OBAMA DEFEATS CLINTON!!!!!
Except nine months early.

55-IS THAT ALL THERE IS?

AP reports that Obama has a 55 delegate lead over Clinton after the deluge of primary wins of this week: after the tsunami of Maryland, after the avalanche of D.C., after the 11.0 earthquake of Virginia. 55? Is that it?

MERRILY MAKING UP REALITY

Taking their cue from "Bush's Brain" (truly one of the oddest oxymorons ever coined) Obama and his merry band of camp followers make up a new reality each day as they parade along the yellow brick road to the Happy Kingdom of Obama the Oz. Every new day brings a new euphoria of self-congratulatory media frenzied hype. Obama is the next President!!!! Obama wins D.C-he is the next JFK!!!! Obama wins Colorado-he is the next Reagan!!!!!! Yippee, hooray!!!!! Obama wins South Carolina-he is not the next Jesse Jackson!!!! And Bill Clinton is a racist!!!!!. Obama wins Iowa-he is the next Jimmy Carter!!!! Well, almost.

George W. and his criminal cadre of neo-cons have never been forced to recognize the reality of their murdering, torturing, inhuman foreign policy. Being a neo-con means never having to answer for your crimes.

Reality, in the shape of more votes and more delegates, is about to mug Obama. The conventional wisdom will, of course, discover that Hillary was going to win after all; that she was really never going to lose; that she had too much organization, too much money, and finally, too much brains.

Neo-conventional wisdom means never saying you were wrong.

MR. OBAMA, MEET MR. HORTON

Obama says he won't be "Swift-Boated." If he really believes this it shows how naive he is about race and politics in America. A black man naive about race in America? Go ask Clarence Thomas. He apparently believes Joe Biden tried to lynch him. Obama is not going to be swift-boated, he is going to be Willie-Hortonized. But surely in this the third millenium, the 2008th year of our Lord, even Karl Rove would not have the stomach to play the race card. Rove knows how to play the real race card; it won't be the tiddly-winks card supposedly played by Bill Clinton.


Hoping against hope. The Republicans are hoping against hope that Obama will be the Democratic nominee. It is their only chance to beat H.R.C.

COULTER'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE

They don't think Coulter is funny anymore. At least not the Young Americans for Facism. The best reaction she could get from the CPAC audience was embarrased glances at the cameras; they were expecting "faggot" and they only got "Hitler."

TRUST ME, I'M YOUR GOVERNMENT TORTURER

The head of the CIA tells Congress that he doesn't torture and that the government hasn't tortured in five years. You see, he is the Chief U.S. Torturer, and you can believe him when he tells you he doesn't torture and the government hasn't tortured in five years. If you can't believe the Chief U.S. Torturer who can you believe?